The craze these days for chalkboard walls is getting complicated. The latest thing is to use a metal-based paint under the chalkboard paint so that your kid has a wall that is both chalkable and magnetic. This post is for parents considering this endeavour. The gist, for all you busy people, is fairly simple: NO. For those of you with some leisure, I’ll lay it out now in point form.
Chalkboard paint is friendly and wants you to be happy.
-It smells good.
-It remains mixed in the tin.
-It applies to the wall like cream.
-It cleans up with soap and water.
-And it does what it promises.
Magnetic paint hates you and wishes you were dead.
-It smells like turpentine on steroids, and continues to smell for days.
-It settles at the bottom of the tin within minutes of an industrial shake-up, and can’t be remixed without 20 minutes of muscular stirring.
-It applies to the wall like a lump of metal, which is, in fact, what it is.
-It cleans up with NOTHING.
-And, the coup de grace: it does not do what it promises.
But, I hear you saying, I’ve come across people on the web singing the praises of magnetic paint! Yes. I read those things too; that’s why I decided to use it. But I’m here to tell you today those people are lying to you . I know why they’re lying too. They’re lying because this stuff is so malevolent they’re embarrassed to admit they bought it. They struggled, they suffered, but now it’s over — and the last thing they want is their friends and neighbours to know how stupid they were to get duped by the other liars on the web and the smiley fellow at the hardware store. I have no such shame. I was stupid. Two coats worth of stupid. Learn from my example.
The one thing people on the web do admit is that the stuff doesn’t really work. You have to get “rare earth” magnets, they say, by which they mean really strong magnets, and even those have problems sticking if you haven’t put on enough coats of the vile stuff. They say “rare earth magnets” instead of strong magnets in a desperate attempt to make their bad decision look like a super bougie decision: not just any magnets for us, no! only rare earth magnets! Feh! And the only reason they admit this one, glaring, overwhelming problem with the product at all is because it’s the one they can’t hide. Anyone who’s come into their house and tried to stick a magnet on the wall already knows.