You is my woman, Flav

What’s wrong with reality shows these days? Flava Flav: now he had a good thing going. The formula was simple. Gather 25 of the most vulgar women you can find into Flav’s hideous (and oddly austere, maybe he ran out of money?) mansion and make them compete to see who’s the basest and most ignorant, in other words, the right mate for Flav. A person could be reminded of eternal verities while watching this show, such as: a woman who wants to pimp out her daughter does well to flirt herself with the John, since she is probably more experienced in the ways of seduction. A person could even have wholly new insights, such as: many people no longer have any authentic personality and thus nothing to sell out; they can only act how they’ve learned from TV that people act.

But, see, the show could only convey all these deep truths because it was so slowly and carefully paced. Nothing much ever happened — a cat fight or two, some unspeakable degredation, a weirdo with a big clock around his neck wandering on and off — and there was lots time for audience reflection. Sort of like baseball, which I am watching as I type: Go Red Sox!

And the new generation of contest-type reality shows just doesn’t have the same stuff. The Next Great American Band? Might as well watch Entertainment Tonight. Boring!

*The title of this post has been corrected. I got all confused last night when the Sox scored their second run and thought I was Mimi Smartypants.

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4 thoughts on “You is my woman, Flav

  1. Estoy de acuerdo with most of your post. Also, you should watch The Amazing Race if you haven’t previously-new season starts Nov. 4th on CBS!

  2. All good suggestions!

    What Flav really did for me was define the configurations of the bottom of the barrel: the wormy yuck that the socially disadvantaged are forced to become — or allowed to become, since most of us would seek this life out if left to our own devices. The baser passions are the strongest: all the philosophers say so. And Flav played it out.

    I don’t need too much of this particular poison, but a sip now and then can be bracing.

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