It’s not just Eila’s first day of course. It’s the official First Day of School, and this applies even at Pomona, where classes start the week before Labour Day. My colleagues who aren’t on leave are getting into the term’s stride, and those who are (like me, hooray!) are suddenly getting a thousand irrelevant emails from the administration, each of which makes us feel a littler smugger until maximum smugness is achieved.
Here are the top five reasons Ontario, Canada is better than California, USA:
5. Our sinks have scrap-catchers instead of garberators. (Yes, it is possible to scrape the plates into the trash, catch the small bits in that thing in the drain, and shoosh them into the compost.)
4. We have brooms instead of leaf-blowers. (Yes, we sweep, which gives us exercise, is picturesque, and works a hell of a lot better to remove leaves from the front walk.)
3. Normal people in Canada do not have gardeners. (Yes, we wield the brooms ourselves. And the hoses and the sprinklers, because most of us don’t have built in watering systems. And lots of people let their lawns go brown in summer too, and aren’t frowned on by their neighbours, because there’s only so much clean water out there people! Okay, wait, I’m overloading number three.)
2. People occasionally walk.
1. We return our beer bottles to The Beer Store instead of pitching them into the recycling. And The Beer Store makes sure they get refilled with good Canadian beer.